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HOW TO IDENTIFY YOUR LIFE PROPOSE

Do you know what your life purpose is? Does thinking about it make you feel overwhelmed, confused or excited? Do you feel paralyzed to make any decision about your future because you don’t want to miss your life purpose?

Most people struggle with identifying what their purpose is. They get distracted by the details of life and of just surviving day-to-day; they forget that they’ve been uniquely created to impact the world. But determining your life purpose isn’t as tricky as you may think. In fact, all you need to do is look at some clues, and you’ll have a very good idea about what you’re meant to do with your life. Try asking yourself these questions:

What do I enjoy doing?

What makes me feel successful?

How do I spend my free time?

What talents or abilities do people compliment me on?

What do others admire about me?

Which activities interest me or fulfill me most?

Which activities am I least interested in?

Which activities make me feel stressed or overwhelmed?

Answering these questions will give you big clues about your life purpose. What you’re gifted to do and enjoy doing will often indicate what you should do with your life. Likewise, if you’re not good at something, then why force something to happen that doesn’t line up with your talents and purpose? For example, if you enjoy caring for young children, then volunteering at your local senior citizen center probably wouldn’t be a great fit. If you enjoy working with teenagers and young adults, then working in a preschool may not be what you’re meant to do.

Don’t be afraid to be honest with yourself. If you’re dreaming of becoming an accountant, but you’re terrible with numbers and can’t even keep your bank account in the black, then it would probably be better to pursue a different path. Don’t get discouraged about what you can’t do; focus on what you can do!

In short, your gifts often reveal your purpose. For instance, from a very young age, my friend Michelle has had a love for horses. Every chance she got she was at the stables learning about how to care for and ride horses. She loved grooming them, feeding them and riding them. She fell in love with training horses and found that she had a real gift to understand them. Soon others were recognizing her abilities to connect with and train horses, and they were interested in hiring her to train their horses.

Michelle felt very fulfilled in what she was doing, but she took it a step farther: she began offering free riding lessons to disadvantaged and physically/mentally-challenged children. She knew that disabled children could benefit behaviorally, emotionally and cognitively through interacting with horses. She knew her purpose wasn’t just about riding and training horses but about using this gift to help and heal others too.

So, let’s go back to that first question again: What’s your life purpose? Don’t back away from this question; embrace it. Determine what your gifts are, and then develop them. Chances are, there are others waiting for you to discover and develop your gifts so that you can reach out and share your talents to positively impact the world around you.

- a the word changes contributor

Live Courageously 2017: Overcome Fear – Accomplish Your Goals

What is the one thing standing between you and your goals? You may think it’s lack of opportunity or time or resources. Or maybe you haven’t met the right people or had the right offer yet. Perhaps the stars haven’t quite aligned for the door to open. But I think the only thing standing between us and accomplishing our goals is fear.

Some people actually struggle with fear of success. Down deep inside at the subconscious level, we feel like we don’t deserve success, or we won’t be able to maintain it. Sometimes we’re afraid of how success might change us or affect our personality or relationships. Will we be different people after we’ve reached our goals? If so, who exactly will we be? And will we actually like the person we’ve become? If we struggle with any of these feelings, we might sabotage our own success and never achieve our dreams.

Additionally, as we are pursuing our goals, it’s not uncommon to encounter naysayers and dream-stealers who discourage and distract us. Maybe they mean well and don’t want us to be disappointed if we fail (because they failed too), so they try to spare us from the pain of failure. But in the end, if we are afraid to wholeheartedly follow our passion, we end up disappointed anyway, don’t we?

As you can see, fear is something we must push through in order to accomplish our dreams. If we live in fear and allow it to overcome us, we cannot expect to reach our goals. We must be determined – even courageous – to follow our life’s purpose. We can’t let fear cripple us or discourage us from even trying.
Instead of fear, we need faith. Faith helps us believe that our purpose is worth chasing after and that success is possible. Instead of being timid about our mission, we need to foster a passion for it which will inspire others and shut down the naysayers. Rather than doubting our calling and fearing failure, we must discipline ourselves to develop our gifts, talents and abilities. We’re fooling ourselves if we think our dreams will just happen miraculously. The truth is, it takes a lot of self-discipline and self-development to reach our goals.

We must resist feelings of fear that try to paralyze us and hinder us from achieving what God created us to accomplish. Our determination must be stronger than our fears. We must feed our faith and starve our fears by resisting negative feelings and defeating thoughts. We must intentionally replace negativity with strength, love and determination.

If you are someone that is still trying to discover your life purpose, it will take courage to discover what your calling is. It’s easy to just coast through life aimlessly, but it sure isn’t fulfilling. Finding your purpose takes intentional action and patience. And once you find your calling, fearlessly step into it with all your heart, embrace self-discipline to develop it, and courageously resist any negativity that tries to discourage you from accomplishing your mission.

- a the word changes contributor

DON'T GIVE UP

It can be really hard to keep going when you’re not seeing results. For example, if you’ve ever tried to lose weight or finish your college degree, it can sometimes seem like you’re making little to no progress month after month, year after year. You wonder if you’ll ever get the weight off or obtain that degree. Your enthusiasm and motivation dwindle. You feel like things aren’t moving in the right direction. You become discouraged and grow tired of doing what is right. So what do you do?

When I feel like giving up, I remember this scripture: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9).

This writer compares doing good to planting and harvesting. We all know that you can’t plant a seed in the soil and expect to see fruit the next day. That’s ridiculous! But isn’t that what we do sometimes? We eat right for a day or two but see no movement on the scale, so we give up. We start investing in our dream of finishing school or starting a business, but when it’s slow progress, we throw in the towel.

But what should we do instead? Well, what do we do with a plant? We must water it each day and make sure it gets plenty of sunshine. We also have to give the plant time to grow and mature; then we’ll see the fruit.

Now, let’s break down the last part of this verse; when we do good …

1. We will reap a harvest or see results. There’s no ifs, ands or buts about it – blessings WILL come if we continue to do what is good and right. This is a promise that we can be sure of.
2. At the proper time. This can be the tough part, and it requires that we have patience. We may think it’s time for some blessings and answers to show up, but we need to trust that God will release them to us at just the right time.
3. IF we don’t give up. Whether we reap our harvest or not depends on whether we give up or not. We cannot quit and expect to see rewards; we have to resist the weariness and the desire to give up. Since quitting disqualifies us from reaping our harvest, let’s choose to continue doing what’s right and good!

And don’t buy into the lie that all the work and effort isn’t worth it. Don’t give in just before all the working and waiting pays off. Remember that in time, doing good will bring about rewards and blessings.

Finally, surround yourself with other positive-minded, persistent people who are also on a journey of doing good, waiting, and not quitting – people who are full of hope that their labors WILL result in realized promises. Who knows? You may be able to encourage them to keep doing the right things even when it gets hard … and they will be able to inspire you to do the same.

- a the word changes contributor

‘Unstoppable': Deaf Women and Their Triumph

"Follow your dream and you can do it. Don't put it off...keep trying. That's what I did."

That's the advice Diane Wofford offers to anyone facing disability or hardship in any capacity.

Her words carry an even greater weight when examined in light of the mountains she's moved throughout her life, both personally and professionally.

Diane was born deaf, but has refused to let that define her, let alone limit her.

Having worked tirelessly for more than two decades as an entry level human resources employee within Disney's college programs, Wofford is now an international representative for Disney World, and loves every minute of it.

But it wasn't an easy path by any means.

Societal stigmas regarding the deaf and hearing impaired were culturally pervasive in 1960, and Wofford experienced the unfortunate misunderstanding of the disability throughout her childhood and adolescence.

Her parents never wanted her to learn sign language, but insisted upon helping Diane speak audibly, working daily to ensure that was the case, showing Diane pictures and urging her to pronounce various words.

"My mother showed me some pictures and made me pronounce the word...like "ball,” and "water.” We went over (them) every day," Wofford recalled.

Meaning well in a very different time, Wofford’s parents did everything they could to help their daughter navigate her disability. The young girl learned by feeling her parents’ necks as they spoke as a means to physically sense the vibrations associated with speech, while her mother consistently helped to relay common words or phrases and how to verbalize them, typically utilizing household items.

Touching the dog as it barked, the television as it played, and records as they crackled were all means by which Diane was taught to tangibly associate sound with meaning.

She also credits her childhood friend and neighbor, Susie, for helping her feel music and read aloud.

Reading lips is Diane’s primary means of taking in what others are saying -a skill

she began learning at the age of two-, though cochlear implants help tremendously.

“With my cochlear implant, I can hear more sounds like birds chirping, kids playing/screaming at the playground, somebody playing music in their cars, sirens.  I have the Cap-tel phone but I hardly use the phone. It's difficult for me…,” Wofford said.

At ten years of age, she began to get help from a speech therapist. No doubt exhaustive, working with a speech-language pathologist furthered Diane's development in terms of communicating verbally.

Despite her progress, Diane's dependence upon hearing devices, coupled with their unavoidable visibility, drew unwanted attention, and the consistent barrage of questions regarding her reality as a deaf person took a toll.

"People stared a lot...they kept asking me questions every day....like why am I wearing a radio? Can you hear me? Can you listen to music?," she noted.

As she grew older, the limitations many people placed upon her seemed to grow exponentially. Diane was told she would never be able to do things common to most, such as take a phone call, attend a public school, or drive a car.

But she did all of those things, and much more.

Even doctors would later tell her that her children would most certainly be deaf. She has raised four children, all of whom have remarkably lacked any hearing impairment whatsoever.

Wofford fondly recalls an empowering epiphany she experienced during a college and careers course:

"When a lady read her story that she wanted to be a deaf teacher and said that kids cannot talk or do anything, I realized that she was so wrong. I raised my hand up and told everybody about what I've been doing and (about) my hearing. They asked me questions and I answered them. The professor gave me an A++. It was a good feeling,” she noted.

Soon after, Wofford applied for a position as a word processor at renowned Disney World in Orlando, Florida. Upon passing the required typing test, she finally secured a position in their human resources department in 1977.

Diane began juggling a slew of responsibilities in the college, international, and professional staffing departments, where she worked vigorously as a typist of everything from letters and reports, to time cards for nearly three decades. Bear in mind that this was no small task by any stretch of the imagination (how fitting), as Disney World has long been one of the larger corporations in existence.

Wofford could have easily allowed the piercing stares, seemingly incessant questioning of her abilities, and perceived limitations to discourage any entertained thoughts of chasing dreams, but she pressed on.

She found a way to shatter every glass ceiling that threatened to keep her encased, managing to do so while raising a family and  furthering a promising career simultaneously.

It is that very same drive which compelled Diane to exceed her given job responsibilities, fueling a refusal to settle.

Always seeking out new assignments to undertake, her work ethic and willingness to pursue whatever tasks were available, while also volunteering to assist with varying events outside of her realm of responsibility, did not go unnoticed.

“‘I’ve been recognized a lot by (my) superiors...I just work harder,” added Wofford.

It is only fitting that the same woman who proudly raised her hand to respectfully declare what the deaf are capable of that day in the college and careers course, would scratch and claw her way to a prominent title with arguably the most recognizable enterprise in the world.

After 25 years of continued progress within the human resources department, Wofford was offered the position of International Representative, a far cry from the helpless afterthought she was once viewed as through the skewed lens of societal “norms.”

How appropriate that her arduous journey led to a company whose overarching vision and foundational principles are pushing the boundaries of possibility?

In September, Diane Wofford will celebrate her 40th anniversary as an International Representative for the happiest place on earth.

Moreover, she'll continue to celebrate life itself in perhaps the most appropriate setting, as a dreamer and overcomer.

- a the word changes contributor

Last year, I attended a training with the Office of disabilities in my State.  The training discussed access in the employment arena for persons with disabilities.  It was an eye opening experience for me!  

There were two sign language interpreters at the training providing sign language for a deaf woman in attendance.  They took turns signing for her.  She was an active participant in the training.  She was asking thoughtful questions and providing insight and understanding into the life of a deaf person.  What struck me most after leaving that training was the fact that if a sign language interpreter was not available for this woman she would not have had the ability to actively participate in the training. Her voice would have been silenced.  Silenced not only because she needed a sign language interpreter to understand what was being said but also because she needed a sign language interpreter to communicate to the hearing community what she was thinking, feeling and understanding.  

We all have a voice in this world and nothing should keep us from using our voice.  Nothing!  I left that training wondering what I could do to make sure that the deaf community’s voice is heard.  

Ironically, several days after the training I was at home working.  The television was on in another room but I could hear the commentary.  They were quoting statistics about the lack of access to sign language worldwide for people that are deaf.  That was shocking and I knew that I wanted to do something about this. That is what preceded this burning desire in my heart to make a difference for those who may be silenced due to their lack of access to sign language.

Child Hunger and Higher Education are still charitable endeavors that the word changes will support but as we have said from the beginning “there will also be times when we are lead to support other causes.” http://www.thewordchanges.com/blogs/news/18988907-the-word-changes. This is such a time!

While we recognize March as Women's History Month, we wanted to go a step further and acknowledge those women who are able to achieve greatness while being deaf. So we are kicking off our new cause: We All Have a Voice with a blog post about deaf women who have changed the world and then we will continue on this month with blog posts highlighting the remarkable lives of deaf people.  This year, we look forward to partnering with an organization that brings resources to the deaf community and allows them to live out their true purpose, so stay tuned!!

Finally, please share your story about your relationship with someone in the deaf community. We would love to hear from you.

Peace and Love,

Antoinette, Founder of the word changes

“What brings you in today?” The fitness counselor asked this woman.

The woman replied:“Well, honestly, I went to the doctors this week and had a check-up...I was just so exhausted and needed to figure out why. The doctor did the full check up, I was informed I had diabetes, and was 25 pounds heavier then the month before. You know how you know you are eating bad and you think you might be gaining a little weight...25 pounds in one month though! Unacceptable. So..here I am, because I have to do something, I have no other option.”

“When was the last time you worked out? Or felt like you were in shape?”

“I don't know to be honest... Back in highschool I was an athlete and took pride in my body but then work got in the way, I had three kids, you know how that goes haha. Umm, probably back in highschool.”

“Have you had a gym membership before?”

“Yes. I have had one for the last three years at the Y, I just never seem to have the time to go.”

“Has anything changed in your schedule to free up your time to allow you to come here often?”

“No, I still work the same hours but I don't care, after that doctors visit, I will make the time. This gym is closer to my house so I have no excuse not to go. I have to pass it on the way to and from work so I can't say it's out of my way to stop in here.”

“You seem extremely motivated, those are the kind of people we want to help. I see a lot of people come in here and say they want to change. They will come for a couple of weeks and then leave...What is the 'why' behind what will motivate you every day to walk through our doors, push yourself and not give up?”

“It's for me. I'm so sick of being so tired. I'm sick of feeling uncomfortable in my own body. I was an athlete for godsakes... That doctors visit was my why. To let yourself get to a point where you don't even realize you put on 25 pounds in one month...that's ridiculous! I want to be in control of me again.”

“Ok, that's all I needed to hear! Everyone that walks in this door must find their 'why'. I like to hear what is going to drive the person and when your why is solely based on what you want for you, that is when you will be successful! Let's hook you up with this membership and get you started towards reaching your goals!”

This was a conversation a woman had when in vulnerability she opened up to a gym membership consultant. She had reached the point in her life of “do or die”. Ever since the birth of her 2^nd child she had talked of getting back into shape. Ten years later she was finally seeing the effects of talking, rather than doing. She was tired but in her exhaustion she found the strength to once again go after her goal. Sometimes it takes reality smacking us in the face to wake us up and put us back on track. For this woman, seeing the 25 pound weight gain was all she needed to jumpstart her back into gear. Some of us have built a habit of shying away from reality. We fear if we face reality we may see something we don't want. Have you ever considered the fact that maybe seeing what we don't want to see, is the very thing we need to see to put us back on track....

This woman signed herself up for a three year commitment to that gym. She was fully dedicated. It is now two years in and this woman has been consistently waking up every weekday and hitting the gym before work. She hates cardio, yet she pushes herself to do it first because she knows that will ultimately help her reach her goal. She sat down with a personal trainer and planned out her meals. She meal preps every week so she has no excuse to stop for fast food on the way home because her dinner is already made, in the fridge, just waiting for her to come heat it up. She made a choice. She faced fear head on by visiting the doctor and then she conquered her fear by enrolling herself in a gym that would get her the results she was seeking. It is only two years later and she has lost much more then that 25 pounds, her energy is back up and she once again feels in control of her life.

Here's the thing.... She did all of the work. She sought out the things she needed to achieve her goal and then implemented them into her life. She went ten years talking and in one moment, one visit to the doctor, she made the decision to start acting. At any given moment you can make the change. Once you find your “why” behind the goal you are trying to achieve, nothing can stop you. No excuse in the world will be big enough to deffer you, because you will have a reason to overcome anything thrown your way. Find your 'why'! It's a new year, make yourself a new you!

-A the word changes contributor 

“I think I was always just trying to fill something inside of me and I tried to do that with people. I need attention, I just wanted it in some form, and did not care what I had to do to get it.”

This woman has gone through her whole life morphing and taking on different personas. Looking back, she realizes that because she did not receive the attention she needed in her home, she sought it elsewhere and did whatever it took to receive it. “It started off in the form of storytelling,” she tells me. “I would make up these ridiculous “events” that happened just to get a reaction out of someone.” She had stories of being shanked, stories of fistfights, drug selling, and her last and most extreme one was telling her whole class she had a cancerous tumor. “The stories began getting way out of hand, I was getting attention and reactions and I loved it, but it would only last so long until I would have to come up with a better more extreme story. It got to a point that I didn't even realize what was coming out of my mouth anymore and some of my stories were going to far.” She had a friend that knew her stories were fabricated and began calling her out on it in private. “My friend let me explain why I was doing it, without judging me, and she helped me calm that down, but it's like I still needed that attention... so then I turned to relationships.”

“The line between love and friendship was always blurry to me, I had a crush on every person that would give me attention.” She had crushes on teachers, friends (both boys and girls).. her crushes hopped from person to person seeking love. “I wanted to date everyone. I thought if I can get them to have a relationship with me, my hole would be gone. I got hurt so many times with this. I would give that person my everything and they would turn around and stab me in the back.” After one of her boyfriends talked her into taking her virginity and then broke up with her the next day, her world was shattered. She felt even more confused and lost sight of herself completely. Because her line between friendship and love was blurred, she thought maybe she was seeking the wrong sex and that was the problem...

“I took a weird turn for a while. I was so confused. If you gave me attention, I thought it meant you loved me. All I knew was boys hurt me, and my friends that were girls, understood me more than anyone..” This women felt that a relationship with another young woman would not be accepted so she decided to cut all of her hair off and present herself as a boy. “Girls would hit on me, thinking I was a boy, we'd get to talking and I would tell them the truth, they would say it didn't matter and we would continue to date but the whole time I was living this lie....None of their families knew I was a girl and in the end every relationship ended because of that. Even though I stopped telling stories...my whole life had become one. I hated it but didn't know how to get out of it because this “boy” I was pretending to be, I started believing really was me.”

After multiple breakups and heartaches this woman noticed that that hole she had inside, seemed to be growing larger and larger. “I was talking to my best friend one night, explaining I wanted to die, I was so lonely and so lost and my friend told me only one person will ever fill that hole...She said His name is Jesus. I about died laughing but she convinced me to go to church with her and I did. I felt things that  I never had.” The people in this church welcomed her with open arms, they explained that God loves her no matter what, and that God could see through every fasad down to the heart that is beating inside of the person. They told her that  the heart was the only thing that mattered to Him. Her friend bought her a bible, she began reading about truth and ended up getting baptized a year later. From there she remained single for close to 6 months just focusing on herself and figuring out who she really was in God's eyes.

About a year or so later, God brought a man into her life. This man brought out her femininity completely again. For the first time in her life, she was comfortable in her own body, with every part of herself. “Once I allowed God to take the reigns on my life, not only did the hole disappear, I found myself.” Now... this woman is happily engaged to that man. She no longer makes up stories because God showed her that she, is enough. She embraces the woman she is, and now, shares her love by helping others see that they are enough as well.

-A The Word Changes Contributor 

It’s been a wild ride these last few years. The United States of America, one of the best countries in the world, is again in disarray. Its people divided by retrospective mindsets that seemed to lay dormant then arise like a thorny plant inside a harvest.

Between the political coverage in the media, social justice protest, and racial divide, it appears that there is no hope for unity. However, there is some glimmer of hope, a plight of good will that will bring Americans together again.

Let’s ponder that for a second. How can Americans come together after such calamity?

One way to do is simply just do it. Why suspend peace because of the choice of others? Forgiveness is a sour grape to swallow sometimes, but it helps move people forward. Frederick Buechner once said:

“When you forgive somebody who has wronged you, you’re spared the dismal corrosion of bitterness and wounded pride. For both parties, forgiveness means the freedom again to be at peace inside their own skins and to be glad in each others’ presence."

As the American people prepare for a less favored elected president, forgiveness is one of those things in life that ensures peace among all.

Although forgiveness is ideal, it’s often the last choice taken by most people. For the past few days, The Word Changes has explored the question on how people can come together as a nation after the election across social media. Some of the responses were angry and few were optimistic.

One that stood out was from a Candid user who said people will come together when they find a common ground. She said there has been propaganda that incites anger and promotes division, but some promotions have encouraged togetherness like the pet food company, Pedigree.

“People are not as extreme as some let themselves to believe,” she said. “Some people are angry and saddened by what’s going on in America, but we must find a common ground like the people who shared a common love for dogs in the Pedigree social experiment.”

There are a few elements in our lives that establish that common ground. Food, laughter, music, and even pets are part of that group that can help mend the fabric of Americans into diverse blanket that represents our nation. It’s a happy concept, indeed, yet it’s far away.

The honest and guaranteed way we can come together is time. A lot of old wounds that we strategically patched up have been opened again. The people are agitated and angry. They’ve taken sides due to politics, race, and religion.

It’s happened before. As we retrospect the history of the United States, we can see events of revolt and civil unrest. People then were unhitched to unity, and time settled those wounds aging their pain into frail stings that were healed and bandaged. Perhaps forgiveness is responsible for it.

But the answer to the question, how can we come together? Time.

We need to time. There’s a time for everything and now it may be healthy for people to be angry, without hurting others, for a little while. Right now, it’s best not to rush togetherness when everyone is charged up on divisive opinions. When our furious energy is spent, passions may be quenched. And forgiveness can move into open discussions, share some laughs, and encourage people to love each other.

-A the word changes contributor.